Journal #4: Chapters: 10-12 [Perspective: Calpurnia]

Journal #4: Chapters: 10-12 [Perspective: Calpurnia]

That mad dog. That dog scared the wits out of me. I almost fainted, I swear to god once I saw old Tim Johnson strollin’ ‘round. I could see the Tim Johnson was inconspicuous; he was bumpin’ into things. I almost felt bad for that poor thing. But of course, I didn’t ‘, I didn’t want anyone getting peril ‘cause of it.
Thank god Atticus shot that dirty nasty thing. I could see the foam out of his mouth. I felt like throwin’ up every time I pictured that nasty dog. I almost wanted to shoot that thing my self, but it wouldn’t be lady-like.
The rest of day was pure nothin’. I couldn’t wait for the day to end, I was sick of picturin’ that mad dog. The rest of the day I was cantankerous because of that old Tim Jonson.

I was happy to take care of Jem and Scout when Atticus was gone. Since Scout was always alone because Jem wouldn’t want to play with her, I felt closer to her. She would always be sad though, I didn’t like that. I know that Jem and Scout aren’t exactly contemporaries, but Jem needs to pay attention to Scout. They used to play so much, now they hardly play at all. All he has to do is play with her, and she’ll be happy. Sometimes that Jem can make me angry. Poor Scout.

I was excited to take Jem and Scout to my church. I didn’t want em’ to get in trouble. Many of the folk in my church, don’t like white people. Their all colored over there. Once they saw me with two white kids, Lula, threw a fit. I can’t believe that women. She was upset and all. I can’t believe her. Why doesn’t she get off my back? It’s my business why their at my church. She can contradict a lot. I know how em’ kids feel. I know what it’s like to be hated just because of the color of my skin. I just want all that to stop. The pain I feel. The pains I see with thin another’s eyes. It hurts me so much. I wish Lula never said all that junk. It hurt me.

Course’ Reverend Sykes tries to get that money for Helen. I don’t mind Helen much, but she can get her own dang money. We all do it, so can she. I know not many people want to hire her, but she can get a job if she tried hard enough. I don’t give that women pity. She can work her self. I try to give money, I’m happy Jem said he’d pay. I was happy I didn’t have to pay considering I didn’t like her that much.

As we walked out of the church, I felt good. Taking care of Scout n’ Jem felt good. I was blissful that I brought em’ kids to the church. Even though some of my folk were unhappy they came, Jem n’ Scout didn’t care.

It inspired me how they take all em’ comments. As I see Ms. Dubose and em’ other adults making those kids feel worthless, I see braveness in Jem n’ Scout. Sure, Jem and Scout can get crazed over some comments, but I always see nobleness in em’ eyes. I’m proud of em’ kids. I always see pain in em’ eyes, but em’ kids always shake it off.

As Scout and I are getting closer, she asked me if she could go to my adobe. It surprised me, but it also didn’t. I knew she was alone, but I didn’t know she was that alone. Poor gal, I’m glad she thinks of me as a friend.

Jem has got to play with that young lady. I know she don’t like being called a lady, but Jem called her a girl. Man, was she angry. I felt pain for that little gal. I wish Jem would just stop.

Someday, that Scout is going to be a proper young lady. I sense it. I will teach her as well I as I can. Them Jem won’t call her that anymore, and she’ll be as good as new.